Massage Tips

When performing a massage on someone you are going to feel all sorts of bumps, hard spots, and interesting textures. You may be quick to tell them their muscles are super tight, or they have a bunch of knots. My first piece of advice is to refrain from saying any of that. The reason is because you most likely do not have the palpation skill (even if you are a massage therapist) to know the difference between a thick muscle, bony landmark, or an asymmetrical area of someone’s body. We live in a world where we are already torn down at every turn. Refrain from adding to someone’s pain, instead offer them empathy and goodness with what you say.

While in some respects it can be rewarding to hear someone tell us our back is in bad shape, or our muscles are haunted by tight spots and knots, it isn’t good for us. As a people we have the tendency to become obsessive over the little details about our body we can do nothing about. When someone tells us we have knots or tight spots we begin to obsess over the idea that if we could just get rid of these knots, our pain would go away. Unfortunately, in most instances a tight spot is typically a thick or strong muscle, a knot is a bony landmark, and an elevated area on one side is due to the asymmetry of our body.

Being told we have a knot, when it is not a knot causes us to go home and massage that area into oblivion. An area that didn’t hurt can become an area that does. This can do a number on your pain system, and it may result in greater pain than you had before.

The interesting thing about the mind is that we can see and feel things that are not there, in massage this is called palpatory pareidolia. This is when we feel something that isn’t there, and as a result we identify it incorrectly. This happens to massage therapists who have worked on thousands of people, so if you are new to massage, you can expect it to happen to you.

We bypass this problem by refraining from searching for something wrong with someone’s body. Offer them a space that is comforting, welcoming and accepting. In some circles this is called holding space, it is a time when someone else has the opportunity to be the center of the universe. When performing a massage this is the exact thing we should be doing. The person we are touching is meant to have our undivided attention, focus and care. Exist in the moment, explore their soft tissues, and offer them the deepest level of love you have to offer.

In massage, intent is one of the most important aspects of the experience. When our intent is genuine, good and pure it enriches every second of the session. This is why it is so important that you tap into the cleanest and most giving aspects of your being when you are touching someone else. It cannot be selfish; it cannot be self-serving. Even if you are performing a massage for a fee, once you begin massaging, nothing else matters except that person’s comfort and ease. We should be massaging them with the intent of helping them discover the peace they need.

As the practitioner there is joy in this. Doing good for the sake of goodness is one of the most joyful activities you can do. Once you can get yourself into the head and heart space of deriving joy from someone else’s pleasure there is no greater state to be in. Being in the service of someone else is beautiful, magnificent and amazing.

This doesn’t mean you need to search for ways to compliment them or shower them with affection. Doing this will most likely make them feel uncomfortable, and it is something you should never do if you are performing a massage professionally. Instead, you simply need to exist in the moment and make the experience about them. If they need some quiet time, give it to them. If they want to chat, then chat. If they want to talk, do your best to make sure they are steering the conversation, so it ends when they are ready for it to end.

If you want to provide an amazing massage experience for someone else, you must make it about them. You need to let go of your ego, wash away any ulterior motives and focus solely and absolutely on them. You need to let go of the notion that you are going to be the Sherlock Holmes of their knots and tight spots. You need to be in a state of peace with wholesome intent, so you may genuinely guide them toward feeling delightful.