Complete Touch

Written by Shawn White, LMT

Complete touch is a feeling experienced when the totality of someone’s attention is delivered through touch. It is unparalleled attention to detail that results in a sensation that feels complete, full, and purposeful.

• Mindfulness: Providing complete touch requires the patience and discipline to remain present in the moment.
• Presence: You must be fully invested in every second, focusing and hoping that the person you are massaging feels magnificent.
• Compassion: Every ounce of your attention must be wholly and solely on the person you are massaging. With pure and good intent, you must focus the love from the heavens above through your heart and into your hands. You must give goodness without ulterior motive or a desire for reciprocity. You must be fully present in every second, touch with the intent to ethically explore, and celebrate the magnificence of existence.  

Complete touch is a beautiful experience that transforms lives. It can infuse us with hope, provide us with the strength to cope, and inspire us to make the most of our moments.

Some enjoy giving massages or make it a profession, while others are naturally drawn to being massage therapists. These are individuals with a profound understanding of touch who dedicate their lives to guiding people toward peace and ease. Many of these individuals possess an ability known as “the touch”. This represents an affinity for massage, meaning they provide excellent massages intuitively. Complete touch is not the same as “the touch”. One is inborn, while the other must be learned. Anyone can learn how to provide complete touch, but few do, even when they possess “the touch.”

Mindfulness

We are busy bees, constantly trying to accomplish something, whether it’s to enjoy some leisure time, finish chores, or power through work. The world is jam-packed with distractions. Everywhere we go, we have a computer in our pocket that connects us to everyone and everything in the world. The artificial interconnectedness of our existence makes it challenging to disconnect and just sit in the silence of the second. If you want to learn how to offer complete touch, you must know how to disconnect, love each second, and be present in the moment.

It is challenging to unplug because one of the first sensations we experience is a sense of boredom. We are so used to the constant spinning of our daily lives that it can be dizzying to get off the ride. The desire to reconnect with social media and feel the dopamine rush is palpable. Like a drug, it is difficult to shake, and the withdrawals can be maddening.

Learning how to disconnect from the dopamine hits of our daily lives is a crucial step in developing our ability to be present in the moment. Simply choosing to refrain for a few seconds helps build discipline, and holding that state allows us to become more patient. This state of refrain can be uncomfortable, and since we have a tendency to avoid pain and discomfort, you must find some goodness to fill the void with. Search for an activity that is wholesome and good, one that feeds your spirit and inspires you to celebrate life. This is important because if you associate this exercise with strife, you won’t want to continue practicing. Give yourself something delightful to look forward to when choosing to unplug; that way, it becomes an activity that you love.

Presence

The pleasure we experience from a massage is significantly influenced by the interest, enthusiasm, and engagement of the person giving the massage. When someone is apathetic with their touch, it feels icky. No one wants to be touched by someone who feels obligated to do so. It saps away the magnificence of the moment, creates the inverse of peace, and leeches away our sense of ease.

Complete touch cannot be achieved through obligation. It can only be experienced when we are being massaged by someone who genuinely cares about how we feel. They must be consciously attentive, thoroughly engrossed, and attentively absorbed in every second of the session. This is the only way someone can have the presence to provide complete touch. If they do not love the act of giving you a massage, they will not possess the ability to be fully invested in your joy.

• Consciously attentive: To be intentional, alert, mindful, and considerate.
• Thoroughly engrossed. To give our full attention to each detail while being curious, ethically explorative, and fascinated.
• Attentively absorbed. To be fully immersed, engaged, and captivated by the massage experience.

Compassion

Every ounce of your attention must be wholly and solely on the person you are massaging. With pure and good intent, you must focus the love from the heavens above through your heart and into your hands. You must give goodness without ulterior motive or a desire for reciprocity. You must be fully present in every second, touch with the intent to ethically explore, and celebrate the magnificence of existence.

Achieving this level of compassion can be challenging, but the spirit within you can overcome any obstacle. You can access the sweetness of existence and choose to shine a bright light on the lives of others. But it all begins from within you. You must decide to be the beacon that inspires and guides. You must choose to become the lighthouse at the edge of the sea that helps wayward ships find their way home. You must be willing to hold on to hope, have faith that everything will be okay, and that tomorrow will be another day.

You cannot offer the compassion required to achieve complete touch if you are distracted. This is because our environment influences how present we can be.

• Minimizing External Distractions: Turn off the television, silence your cell phone, and remove any demanding elements from your environment. Seeing the glow of your cell phone will enchant your eyes and steal your sight away from the second. The clamor and rattle of your phone will draw you to it like a puppet with strings connected to your bones. When the television is prattling on about this or that, the weak and undisciplined areas of your brain will steer your attention away. Your environment should be serene, quiet, and as peaceful as can be. You must create a space that is still and does not test your will. It must feel safe, comfortable, and allow you to ground without any distracting sights or sounds.
• Manage your Internal Distractions: Many will advise you to empty your mind with vacuous meditations. Do not do this. Nature abhors a vacuum. If you do not fill your mind with what you want to think, some other force will fill it for you. Be the faucet that fills your mental sink. Focus your mind with patience and discipline to force out the foes of distraction. Focus on what you feel with your hands. Everything that exists outside of your current task does not matter. If an issue attempts to distract you, remember that you can and will address it later.

Once your environment is calm, safe, and serene, you will have the perfect place to guide someone toward peace. When massaging, you must provide focused attention, have intentional awareness, and see with wholesome eyes. When you place your hands against them, you must feel with every inch of your skin. You must be aware of every ounce of pressure and be purposeful with how you apply it.

• Focused Attention: We must offer our complete attention and be fully engaged with what we are doing. This means letting go of everything that has happened in the past or could happen in the future.
• Intentional Awareness: We must consciously choose to focus on the comfort and care of the person being massaged. This is a type of conscious meditation that concentrates solely on the interwoven sensory experience of the massage. Choose what fills your mind; do not let it wander like a child. Lasso your thoughts and feelings so you don’t have to chase them down when they start wandering away.
• See with Wholesome Eyes: When you look at the person before you, see them as a spirit seeking peace and ease. Filter your sight through a lens of love, one that wants to witness them rise high into the sky like a hopeful dove. Remove the woeful and wicked societal programs from your eyes. Cleanse your heart of haughtiness, lust, and envy. Search for the brilliant divine light within the life before you, and celebrate them for being alive. We should actively seek to see them as a whole person, rather than the sum of their parts. Whether they are a man or a woman, we must see them first and foremost as a human who is hurting, seeking peace, or needs a reprieve.

Practicing Complete Touch

You must know how complete touch feels tangibly. To achieve this, I want you to interact with an inanimate object. The goal of this exercise is to touch with the entirety of your hand.

Place your hand on a table or a hard, flat surface. Press your hand down enough so every inch of your skin is flush with the surface. Whether your fingers are splayed out or close together, every shred of your skin should be touching the table.

Feel and explore the sensation of the flat surface. Now, explore the sensation of shifting the weight of your hand. Take the time to experience every sensation. Now press down with greater force, feel the flesh of your fingers smush. When you massage someone, you should be seeking to have every inch of your hand on your client’s skin. Be completely present in mind, body, and spirit.

Engage your senses by practicing patience. Take your time, feel, search, question, and explore every exquisite sensation as your massage. Leave your lustful, selfish, and haughty inclinations at the door. Instead, explore with curious, altruistic, and ethical intent.